Meanwhile, for many months another celebration has been in the works. In coordination with the wedding day (which brought Benjamin home from Haifa), the Groisser clan chose a date when all of the family could convene in honor of Gram/Mom/Lilah. She has already been 90 years old for three months, which is even more cause for celebration. She is going strong.
Everyone arranged to be in Boston for the weekend. Sarita and James came from California, Benjamin had come from Israel for the double header, Dena and Jacob flew from Denver, Steve came home from Albuquerque, we drove from Virginia and the rest of them were already in the area. It has become a regular tradition of ours to gather perhaps once a year or maybe a little less often, depending on the excuse we have for convening. It is a small family: all 14 of us fit easily into our group photo. We have quite a series of these pictures by now, and we each have our own opinions about which were the most awkward years for the people in the photographs.
Because this is a family that knows its limits, there was no plan for unscheduled stretches of togetherness. Sue took the job of organizing the food and the venue (the biggest and only really necessary job), welcoming us once again to her house for dinner and brunch. The house fits us perfectly and has become a natural home for our reunions, now that she has renovated it and created so much open space for easy socializing -- in the place where they all grew up. Nothing could really be more perfect.
As always, each of us has our own story of what it took to extricate ourselves from our normal lives. In the case of the farmers who drove from Virginia, we had decided to try to leave home before rush hour on Friday, knowing how impossible it is to escape the area. We chose the long route, heading west and then north through Pennsylvania. By the time we got to Leesburg we were in the midst of a crashing thunderstorm. Within minutes we got news from Carrie that all the electricity was out at the farm and a big tree had fallen into the pigpen and crashed down some power lines. Jon was immediately very sorry to be away from home and was sorely tempted to turn around to help deal with these issues. They are his department. Benjamin and I did not agree to turn back, so Jon had to satisfy himself with giving lots of detailed instructions to Carrie about generators and setting priorities for which coolers and freezers needed power. All the coolers were filled with the weekend's market loads. This has happened before, but we were home last time. Carrie followed all the directions and kept the coolers cool.
By mid-morning on Saturday, most issues were resolved. Jon will be able to cut up the fallen tree himself when we get home.
Up until this trip, the house in Brookline has been our middle of the night destination -- for my entire life. But that house has been sold to a young family and we went to sleep in Alissa's nice apartment in Somerville for the first time ever. So many eras ending and beginning.
Because we had not thought it through, none of us realized that we would have a whole weekend of hanging around together with our nuclear family of five. Tonight at dinner we all tried to remember how long it has been since we took a trip, just the five of us, and we had to go back 10 years to the winter of 2007. It did feel quite unusual to be driving around in a car together for two days. Alissa did most of the driving and there was a navigation team in the backseat, offering a range of opinions. Highly entertaining.
We went to see Sarah and Jim, knowing that Jim might not wake up for visitors. He is in a rapid decline, staying comfortable with hospice care, sleeping in a hospital bed in the middle of the living room. To our surprise and joy, he eventually woke up and greeted us.
I had not expected to be recognized, but he knew who we were, why we were there, and seemed glad to see us. He is especially close to Alissa, and they got to have a private conversation while the rest of us went to see the new apartment (they are moving in the next two days, we are amazed at the adherence to the plan).
We went out for lunch on Saturday at a restaurant named Moldova, in honor of the winter trip that Becca and Benjamin took a few years ago. We all liked the food and the hands-off wait staff. Then we went to a used book store in Waltham and splurged on a pile of books for gifts and back stock. Then we went to Gram's apartment so Alissa could get the photo board put together (another tradition that has evolved in recent years). At every opportunity, I took a nap, several times each day. That's what defines a vacation: lots of naps.
And finally it was time for the event which brought us all here. It was a low-key, non-stressful party. Just us and our gracious Gram/Mom. We ate delicious grilled vegetables and salmon and some people watched the Red Sox game and then we sat down to say a few things about our gratitude for this matriarch and what she has taught us or given us. No one sang or performed anything, as we did at Jon's party. We just reminisced and were thankful. And of course Leon was entirely present in our hearts and minds. He is always with us when we are together, sometimes even continuing to hog the limelight. It was a sweet evening.
For the Groisser family from Virginia, it was an especially sweet weekend. We just don't get to spend much time together since everyone grew up and went away. We have big family gatherings but no small ones. So this was the biggest treat of all, and it was totally unexpected. Different from 10 or 20 years ago, these three are so happy to be together, even if crammed into a hot car in July.
We went back for one final visit with Jim, and he was groggy, much more as we had imagined. This time it felt like a real farewell. He could acknowledge us but he could hardly keep his eyes open. We gave him kisses and hugs and said goodbye for the last time.
What a full two days. We crammed so much family experience into about 36 hours. Whew.
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