In my birth family we know we are not supposed to toot our horns, nor are we even supposed to disproportionately notice when our children do something good (like graduate from college). We take it in stride. Apparently this low-key approach to achievements came down through the generations on my mother's side. And our own children have grown up with that expectation of no fanfare. But, it must be noted, we did attend all of their graduations, both high school and college -- Jon's side of the family has had some influence.
My brother's wife Lee Lee has managed to change the cultural expectations in their nuclear family: they are outspoken and appreciative about everything, none of this hiding your light under a bushel. They are not stingy with their praise, and their children are well-adjusted and charming, so there don't seem to be ill effects.
Anyway, I am going to go outside the usual family culture and brag about my mother. She is doing great. Anna said tonight, "I want to be like her." Nell said recently, "I want to grow up to be like her." She continues to be a healthy, calm, cheerful patient, doing as much as she can for herself.
She had her second knee replacement surgery on March 29 and they sent her home on April 1. The doctor decided she was ahead of schedule in her rehabilitation and she would just be bored, lying around at the hospital over the weekend. So she came back to her bed in the living room, very pleased. The second time around was easier than the first time -- she requested less anaesthesia (and they complied), the surgery was quicker because the surgeon had already seen her other knee two weeks before, and her leg didn't swell up and turn all purple this time. So, she has been getting better and better, working her knees while lying on her back on her bed, using a big rubber band for resistance. The physical therapist is happy with her progress.
Recently I went over to say hello, and I brought my piano books with me so I could show her what I am working on (she is always ready to listen to my unpolished practicing) and see if she wanted to play duets with me. By the time we got to the piano, after an hour of conversation, it was already pretty late in the evening. But she eased her way out of her chair, got the walker and made her slow way to the piano bench. It is so much fun for me to have a mother who can play any music I bring over. She can do much more than that, but I only need the basics. So we squeezed onto the piano bench together and played some duets. She doesn't mind playing the same thing over and over (having spent the bulk of her childhood practicing and probably most of her awake hours at college).
But I digress. I just want to say that my mother is an amazing patient. I guess we should not be surprised. But she is so mellow and fine, happy to be where she is, happy to have visitors, unperturbed about pain (which must be a constant), and interested in everything. Michael L. is so glad that she has been less fuzzy and drugged this time around.
It is hard for me not to say, "I knew she would be like this." But I actually did not know. I was worried that she would have trouble recovering from the anaesthesia. I was never worried about her capacity to tolerate pain and I knew she would do her exercises diligently. I am so pleased that she seems to be the same person she was before the surgery, and that she will be walking on straight legs before we know it.
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